Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded theme that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on ever since old ages. Affairs can be loaded with problems, cause sadness, and other harms. In addition you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, finances, age difference, spiritual background, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, lonely wife looks for dating.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking affair. I suppose mostly though it is only the human state, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us get away the real world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone can switch the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos society has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but society as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your spouse or anybody else? You would need to lessen the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest group, enormous really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel happy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your assets are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An affair from time to time solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sadly this is a regular cause I fear. One or the other, frequently the guy is sexually neglecting his wife for a multitude of reasons. As a male I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be compassion is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply grown distantly, our relulas concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.